Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. -Proverbs 4:23
So last night I was completely in my feelings, like completely in my feelings. It wasn't a negative "in my feelings" but it was a reflective "in my feelings."
I was always told to get to know---------- Okay, what I am about to write will sound super bitter but I AM NOT BITTER. At least not anymore.
< < Rewind
At this one point in time, in the far past, I had a boyfriend. Like a real, exclusive boyfriend- not one who was sowing his wild -short- oats everywhere [but I digress]. I took my time getting to know him and we became great friends- or so I thought. When we broke up, we remained friends and I was ecstatic. I loved the fact that I still had this guy as my best friend. He knew me and I knew him. I started dating other guys and we were still friends. I remember staying on the phone for hours after I got out of class, laughing like friends would. After I got into my next serious [not so serious but at the time I thought it was] relationship, we still remained great friends UNTIL THE DAY HE GOT A GIRLFRIEND.
Now this is usually the time when females say, "Niggas Ain't Ish," and I would have said this in 2010 but my mindset has evolved. We still talked a little here and there after he got his girlfriend but the talks were very brief and then they disappeared. Summertime came and my dumb self was excited because my friend was coming home. We made plans to work out together and I even took him out for his birthday. That is when I knew something was different. He LIED to his girlfriend and said that he was out with a group of friends. The whole time we were out, he moaned and groaned about how he lied to his girlfriend. -__- To take someone out for their birthday and the whole time they aren't even mentally there... Ehh. After that, he called me to cancel every other thing we had planned for the summer. I was so heartbroken because I had lost my best friend.
Fast Forward > >
I saw this dude the other week and he said I was "distant." I almost laughed until I peed on myself. This is the same guy that would hit me up and then say he would have to call me back- and never did. I'm not necessarily distant- I am respecting the distance that YOU created. Now please don't get me wrong, I am happy that he is happy but I've learned a lot from this situation.
Lesson Learned:
Niggas Ain't Ish! I mean, it is cool to still pursue friendship while I am in a relationship but AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO ONE, we are no longer friends. I've learned to cut people off before they cut you off. Well not in such a rash decision type but I just don't understand guys. They are beginning to really annoy me. I don't want to be friends with another guy, just to break up and the friendship is over at their convenience. That is the dumbest thing to me. Become friends, date, break up- So what happens to that friendship? Crap seems pointless. Oh well! I mean this has happened in most of my mini-relationships and I really miss the guys friends that I've had. It isn't necessarily the romantic part of the relationship but the actual friendship that I miss. Eh.
I'm still looking for that "can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of love."
End Rant. Fixes Pearls. Logs Off.
So last night I was completely in my feelings, like completely in my feelings. It wasn't a negative "in my feelings" but it was a reflective "in my feelings."
I was always told to get to know---------- Okay, what I am about to write will sound super bitter but I AM NOT BITTER. At least not anymore.
< < Rewind
At this one point in time, in the far past, I had a boyfriend. Like a real, exclusive boyfriend- not one who was sowing his wild -short- oats everywhere [but I digress]. I took my time getting to know him and we became great friends- or so I thought. When we broke up, we remained friends and I was ecstatic. I loved the fact that I still had this guy as my best friend. He knew me and I knew him. I started dating other guys and we were still friends. I remember staying on the phone for hours after I got out of class, laughing like friends would. After I got into my next serious [not so serious but at the time I thought it was] relationship, we still remained great friends UNTIL THE DAY HE GOT A GIRLFRIEND.
Now this is usually the time when females say, "Niggas Ain't Ish," and I would have said this in 2010 but my mindset has evolved. We still talked a little here and there after he got his girlfriend but the talks were very brief and then they disappeared. Summertime came and my dumb self was excited because my friend was coming home. We made plans to work out together and I even took him out for his birthday. That is when I knew something was different. He LIED to his girlfriend and said that he was out with a group of friends. The whole time we were out, he moaned and groaned about how he lied to his girlfriend. -__- To take someone out for their birthday and the whole time they aren't even mentally there... Ehh. After that, he called me to cancel every other thing we had planned for the summer. I was so heartbroken because I had lost my best friend.
Fast Forward > >
I saw this dude the other week and he said I was "distant." I almost laughed until I peed on myself. This is the same guy that would hit me up and then say he would have to call me back- and never did. I'm not necessarily distant- I am respecting the distance that YOU created. Now please don't get me wrong, I am happy that he is happy but I've learned a lot from this situation.
Lesson Learned:
Niggas Ain't Ish! I mean, it is cool to still pursue friendship while I am in a relationship but AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO ONE, we are no longer friends. I've learned to cut people off before they cut you off. Well not in such a rash decision type but I just don't understand guys. They are beginning to really annoy me. I don't want to be friends with another guy, just to break up and the friendship is over at their convenience. That is the dumbest thing to me. Become friends, date, break up- So what happens to that friendship? Crap seems pointless. Oh well! I mean this has happened in most of my mini-relationships and I really miss the guys friends that I've had. It isn't necessarily the romantic part of the relationship but the actual friendship that I miss. Eh.
I'm still looking for that "can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of love."
End Rant. Fixes Pearls. Logs Off.
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