Psalm 46:10

Psalm 46:10
He says, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."


Dear God,

You would think that I would be thankful for the stillness in my life right now.  I guess I don't trust you.  Usually, in my case, when there is calm, either a storm is coming or I'm in the middle of it.  Could it be that this time, the storm is over?  Psalm 46:10 has constantly popped up around me since 2007.  You know me.  I have to recognize that.  I've always tried to rush and do things on my own.  I've learned that I can't do anything on my own.  I've tried to, boy, have I tried to.
You would think that I would be content for the stillness of life but I am so used to things happening, that now, I am having a hard time to relax.  le sigh.

I don't have much to say today but You know my heart.  I'm just trying to get to know Yours.

Love,

Brie!

8/11/12

Hey Loves!  I apologize for being so sporadic with my blogging.  Hopefully with this new format, I will blog more often.  I went on vacation for a while and decided it was best not to blog while on vacay!

So about my format, I haven't completely decided what I am doing but I know today- I am sharing my letter to God.  I write them ever so often.

This letter came around because I talked to my ex-boyfriend yesterday.  Le Sigh.  He has so much growing up to do- you think him having a kid would have helped.  I get upset with myself whenever I think of him because of who he is.  Not trying to down him but WHAT WAS I THINKING? Ehh. Le Sigh again.  When people would ask me if I would marry him, I would say "yes but then I would divorce him in a few years."  LOL. I'm rude.  Apparently, he wants to be friends or be on good terms or something weird.  It ain't happening.  Too much hurt there.

Then I thought about it.  I said, "Self, why are you hurt?  I mean, I know that he went back and forth between you and that other female.  I know he lied about getting some random girl pregnant when in reality it was the other female.  BUT WHY YOU MAD?"

My flesh is mad but my spirit is thanking GOD!  I could have ended up with that guy.  I could have had his kid. Ehhh.  Just to think about it.  I think about my ideal man and he might have 1/2 of a quality.  So yeah, I am so done with being in my feelings about that man/boy/midget.  WHATEVER.  Okay, that wasn't Christ like but the flesh is weak!

So, I was all in my feelings after I talked to him yesterday but I refuse to let him control my emotions.

So--- my letter to God today.

dear GOD,

GOD, i feel so empty.  FILL ME! i'm back at school. most of my "friends" have graduated. i'm lonely. i don't even have classes on my schedule. i'm in pain! i have no boyfriend! I'M COMPLAINING! Sorry!  i know i have a lot to be thankful for but i want to GROW.  i want to GROW ENOUGH IN YOU that i'm ready for my husband.  he has got to be a leader with a heart for YOU!  i don't want a man of the world. i crave the attention of them sometimes but i'm giving that to YOU as well! i'm working on me: my relationship with YOU!, my school, my friend group, my weight, my modesty and my attitude!

I LOVE YOU!

Thanks for everything You've done and doing!